Author: Hamidah Gul
Facebook has created a unique way of maintaining your friends in a virtual hangout. With Facebook, you can send someone a virtual gift, hug, food, and even money! A friend just sent me a cool $10 in Facebook. Now what can I get with that? Virtually nothing.
Still if you are a Facebook addict, you know that the main attraction of this website is the status updates, the photo albums and the endless quizzes. People update with everything that is going on in their lives, be it the most mundane things or the most exciting things like jumping in the middle of Sahara Desert. Seriously, if you were jumping in the middle of Sahara Desert, wouldn’t you prefer to enjoy the moment and the jumping, rather than rush to a sterile computer, login to your Facebook and tell everyone about it? Whatever happened to living in the moment?
If I were on top of Mount Everest, the last thing in my mind would be when would I be able to update my Facebook about this? And if I’ve just gotten into a car accident and is fighting for my life, I’d be sure to get my mobile phone and tell everyone on Facebook “Hey people it’s been nice knowing you but I’m about to die. Don’t forget to feed my cat.” Yes, that’s a big possibility since now you can update your Facebook status updates via your mobile connections. Maybe you can even get a good connection in heaven so that you can update everyone about what it’s like.
That is my pet peeve about Facebook and other social networking sites and that none of my friends are calling me. There’s no need to meet up because we know exactly what is going on each others’ lives and if you can get a virtual cake, there’s no need to eat either. Think of all the calories you can lose with virtual desserts! I’m glad my closest friends are not that active in Facebook. It means that we still have a chance to keep our friendship fresh and intact.
For my other ‘friends’ in Facebook, I’ve learnt so much about you. The top ten things I’ve learned are:-
1. I know every single furniture, dress, pants, appliances, mobile phones, rings, haircuts that you’ve bought. It's not hard to guess how much you are earning and if I need a loan, you'd be the first person I call.
2. I know what you eat and when you eat. The only thing I don’t want to know is where it all goes after that. That's just too much information.
3. I know you have a maid and you’ve never taken care of your children for a day in your life. And that you are proud of it. Now you know I have to judge when you state it all so plainly for everyone to see. Hopefully mommies-to-be in your Facebook don’t take parental lessons from you.
4. I know when you are asleep. It’s sad though that you have to do it on your computer. After all the furniture you bought last week, did you not get a bed? And please don’t update us about your dreams. Some of them should be kept private.
5. I know that you think the quizzes in Facebook are the Truth of all Truths. I really don’t want to burst your bubble that you could possibly be the next Angeline Jolie, but people like you and me create these quizzes and I can put ANYTHING I like in those quizzes. I'm thinking of creating a quiz later titled ‘Are you a frog or a toad?'.
6. I know how much you love to save money by sending virtual birthday presents to your friends on their special day. Just because you add a personal message does not make it ok.
7. I know what your husband look like. I know all your children’s faces, your mother, your father, your teacher, your boss, your dog, your aunties, your uncles, your cousins and your stinky pillow. At least if they ever do anything nasty in public, I will recognize them for you. Better yet, I’ll let you know with a status update.
8. I know all your travel plans, your vacation plans and when you are going to the market. Heck, I even know when you are going to the toilet! Basically, I know when you will be out of your house. Maybe it’s time to invest in a security system.
9. I know when you are married and flirting with my single friend in Facebook that a virtual affair has just became a public affair.
10. Last but not least, I know that you can do better than just hang around in a virtual world telling people what you are doing every second of the day. Get up, get out, meet your real friends and make a real connection. And when you sleep at night today, you’d know that you didn't waste your day on a virtual connection that disappears after a few hours and probably only exists in a virtual plane.
About the Author:
Hamidah Gul is a freelance published writer whose works in fiction have been published both in print and electronically.
She also runs The Art of Stitch an online needlecraft store.